Abraham Lincoln Funny / Itsy Bitsy Yellow Polka Dot Bikini 5"x7" 127 mm by 178

Abraham Lincoln posing as a pin up on a beach in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini.

Good gift for that friend who's sense of humor is just a little bit weird or race, or for that History Teacher or History Buff that you know needs a laugh.

"How Lincoln Saved America in the Civil War" Printed at high resolution, with archival pigment ink on acid-free paper, at 5"x7" or 127 mm by 177.8 mm. (For easy framing, slip into a 5x7 photo frame.)

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Originally sketched with pencil, inked with india ink, painted with a mix of Winsor and Newton watercolors Daniel Smith's watercolors, on acid-free paper.

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A little bit of alternative history going on, here. As for the explanation of why/how/what? There's a lot to unpack here....

It all started 2-3 years ago, in Denver... the city of well, 10 hours away.... where I was selling/creating art for one of the first times in public. As a chronic insomniac, I tend to only sleep maybe 3 hours the week of an Art Event or Convention.

This week was no different. When bored, I use art prompts to get those creative juices flowing... and I often combine them to get silly results. I

In this case, Favorite Historical Character (All I could think about was Lincoln... great man, plus sleep deprivation.) being sexy. I thought it'd be fun to put him in a bikini swimsuit, and pose him like a female pin-up... because why not? So I sketched him out, then went to draw the tall hat, and there wasn't room. With the suggestion from my friend, I put it on his rear.

(For the record, I was drawing literally at an eye-catching display and people were walking up the entire time, just to see what I was drawing... it was literally the second time I've ever drawn something in public... So here I am shaking with nerves, cheeks blushing, while I'm trying to lowkey draw in a public place.)

The Drawing/inking go without incidence. As I'm painting, I get that song "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" stuck in my head (you know the one) despite having not heard it for like 5 years. So of course I throw in the bathing suit... and while I'm feeling all smug, thinking that I successfully drew and painted a revered figure in a compromising and irreverent way without anyone really taking notice, it happens.

I'm working on the sky, I've already finished the skin, the body hair, the bikini, the beach... I'm in the home stretch, literal moments from safety.

When an older couple comes up, totally sweet looking. Reminds me of my own grandparents... must be in their 70s...

I sort of do that possessive thing that all of us kids who went to public school learned to do with our lunch trays, so we'd be able to finish all of our food without friends jacking french fries or what have you. You know where you block it sort of from view and reach with your body and arms... Hoping to shield these obviously conservative older people who would be deeply offended seeing this.

(For context, Trump hasn't even announce his candidancy... Obama is still President... The Oval Office still feels like it matters.)

But I can't do a full coverage lean, because it's still wet, and honestly I need to finish up the sky soon, or else the sky is going to have little lines in it from drying unevenly.

They appear to be casually walking through the Alley of the Convention just looking at various items... I think, they'll probably completely miss it... I'm probably okay.

Then they stop, "You're Painting?" The lady who reminds me of my own, very conservative Grandma, asks leaning forward trying to get a good look.

That attracts the attention of the older man with her, probably her husband, who was starting to drift off in the other direction. So he joins her, both trying to peer under my arms, which I have protectively tried to obscure their view from.

"Yes, but you probably won't like it." I answer. Thinking that it's possibly that this counts as Porn or something and that I'll be getting kicked out of this all ages Convention for ruining the innocence of children, and like being creepy. Yeah, the less I sleep, the more freaked out I get... it's supposedly a stress response...

"We'll be fine." They smile reassuring, despite not knowing the danger of what's beneath my arms.

"Do you get offended by Cross-dressing or disrespectful portrayals of good men?" I ask, hoping that somehow I can convince them to leave without seeing what I have under my arms.

"We'll be fine." The woman reaffirms with enunciated the "fine" part.

I decide I'm stuck, so I start lifting my arms, and they start leaning over to see what it is. I'm holding my breathe waiting for the backlash.

"I can't tell what it is, could you turn it around, so we can see clearly?" The woman asks politely, like a civilized person, which worries me all the more. I'm shaking, ducking my head waiting for an indignant slap as I'm turning it around... there's a good chance I'm squeezing my eyes shut...

They're leaning down real close to it, so they can see it, my attempts to dissuade them from viewing the work in progress just adding to their curiosity.

There's a silence. I think perhaps I drew it to horribly for it to be recognizable... I'm practically sighing in relief.... when it comes. "OH MY GOD!" The older woman exclaims, the man behind her looking even more surprised at what he's seeing. which attracts the attention of the many people who were just walking past...

I'm thinking, now you've done it. Your imagination and weird sense of humor is gonna get us dragged away by security, booted from the convention, and my ride home is in 2 days.. what am I gonna do.

Then, they laugh. The older woman almost laughs hard enough to fall over.

They start talking about how it's funny, I smile hesitantly in reply. 'did this work out? They're not going to sue me, or call security on me, right?'

They thank me for brightening up their day, and move on. Leaving me surprised, shocked, confused, and wondering if this is just a really vivid dream. (It wasn't... as you can see by this piece.)

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